Contrary to how we conceptualize it, I don’t see resilience as a state of constant, unwavering strength. Resilience can only be seen in moments of weakness and vulnerability. A person living a seemingly ideal life cannot be blamed for not being resilient because that individual never had the opportunity to demonstrate resilience. And more to the point, who are we to judge someone’s resilience? That seemingly ideal life may very well be an illusion.
Therefore, when I hear someone use the word resilience, I recognize it not as a characterization of an individual but rather as a commentary about a larger system. It’s a yearning to recover a sense of agency in a world that is often uncaring to personal circumstances.
It is easy to get drawn into that romantic feeling. Even writing this column makes me feel a little nihilistic, although that is not my purpose. Humans are hard wired to believe in a just world.4 The idea of resilience is appealing because it gives us confidence that our insecurities are not fatal flaws and that a countervailing force can mitigate the worst of potential outcomes. It also gives us a sense that we can bounce back to better times, rather than get used to new realities.
In the clinic case, my sense is that the trainee was coming to grips with the relentless nature of this difficult-to-treat rheumatic condition. The fact that the patient was so personable and sympathetic did not square with the reality that she was in a state of suffering. Resilience came to remedy this inequity; that is the patient may be in pain but she can endure that pain because she is resilient.
Resilience as Judgment
As I continue to reflect upon the concept of resilience, I can’t help but see that its definition seems to hinge upon its absence. After all, resilience is deeply personal and contextual. What may be a minor setback for one person can feel insurmountable to another. Our experiences, backgrounds and resources shape our views. For better or worse, we often project our own preconceptions upon others, coming up with conclusions on such concepts as resilience.
When we decide that someone is resilient (or not), we are looking at an individual’s strengths and vulnerabilities, and making a decision about whether that person is sufficiently utilizing their strengths. There is something even more insidious about labeling resilience than there is in making other judgments based on single data points because it rests on multiple subjective assessments that are interlinked. A holistic bias exists that cannot be avoided, no matter how much we try.
